You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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