If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
meet me or not, i'm out of control
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
