11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
