Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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