She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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