So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
