On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
