Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
