weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
