I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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