if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
