In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
