We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
