Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
