This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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