exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
