is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have fence marks all over my body
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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