Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
