sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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