He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
