I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
