hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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