I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
