OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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