before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
