Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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