Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
