We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
