So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
