I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
