Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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