then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
