did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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