I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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