When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
