im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
