why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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