Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
