Whod you bang
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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