I think my fart just growled at me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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