i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
