So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
