so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
