Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
