Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
