People in love make me want to vomit
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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