Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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