What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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