Whod you bang
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm too high and old for this...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
