Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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