when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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