I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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