Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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