My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just had sex bonerless
This house was built for laser tag.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
